Christmas Cards

One of my favorite parts of Christmas is reading the Christmas cards sent to my family.  I love looking at the pictures and seeing how our relatives and friends have changed over the year.  However, this year, I did not enjoy the Christmas cards as much as past years.  This year, I felt English once again creep into my life because as I read the cards, I could not just read them, I began to judge people for their errors in the cards.  Most of the people who sent these cards have college degrees, however, there were so many grammar and spelling mistakes.  My sister and I even started to have a competition where we would read the same card and compete to see who could find the most mistakes.  I know this seems bad, but I feel as if educated adults should know the difference between the meaning of it's and its or know better than to end sentences with prepositions.  Also, reading my grandma's (PoPo's) letters are painful.  It takes our entire family to decipher what she is trying to say. She literally forgets major sentence parts.  She will say something like "I went lunch with Donna yesterday. We go to nice restaurant. I hope see you soon."  And that's seriously not an exaggeration.  Granted English is not her first language, but after living in the States for most of her life, I would expect her to learn proper English. I feel as if it is a shame that she cannot write a letter with proper English.  I feel as if AP English has just made me hyper-aware of these things because I have never had these problems in the past.  One thing is for sure though- when I am older and send out Christmas cards, I will be sure to make no grammar or spelling mistakes in fear that there will be an AP English student reading my card.

How Well Do You Know the English Language?

As I struggled to come up with a topic to blog about concerning the book I dislike very much, I decided against blogging about the book.  I decided I would give my fellow AP English 12 students a test and see how well you know the English language.


Questions: (Don't scroll down and cheat!)

1. What word has the most definitions that any other word in the English language?
2. What is the longest one-syllable word in the English language?
3. What is the longest word in the English language (It's not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious for all you Mary Poppins fans out there)
4. What is a word in the English language that does not rhyme?
5. What is the one word in the English language that has only one vowel that occurs five times?
6. What is the one word in the English language that has three consecutive sets of double letters?
7. What is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed?
8. What is the most commonly used letter in the English language?
9. What is the least commonly used letter?
10. What is the only English word that begins and ends with "und"?

Answers:

1. set
2. screeched
3. pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
4. Orange, purple, silver, month
5. invisibility
6. bookkeeper
7. queue
8. e
9. q
10. underground

How did you do on the test?

 I feel as if scoring well on this test might be a little difficult, but do not worry! Just take the next AP English 12 grade you get, compare it to this, and you'll feel real good about yourself in AP English! I am simply trying to boost your confidence.  Plus, now you have some fun facts to share at awkward family holiday gatherings!

Aphenphosmphobia

Like many of my other classmates, the end of the book shocked and surprised me.  However, one very strong emotion overwhelmed these others and overtook my entire body.  The feeling of fear.  As soon as I read, "'He cut his throat,'"  I gasped and started to panic.  I had to stop reading and take a deep breath.  Then, I continued to read and came upon, "heavy red fingers out of the white flesh of her throat," and this only caused me to panic and distress me even more.  The reason I felt so distressed and panicked at these moments is because I believe I have aphenphosmphobia (the fear of being touched) on the front neck/throat area.  I cannot have anything like clothing, or anyone touch my it or else I flip out.  If I have to wear a turtleneck or under armor that touches that area, I am so uncomfortable and constantly have to pull the shirt down off my neck.  For example, when the girls soccer team wear jerseys to school that have collars that touch this throat area, often times I will wear a sweatshirt instead and pretend I am wearing the jersey underneath.  I cannot stand being that uncomfortable throughout the entire school day.  Also, if someone grabs or even just touches my neck, I scream and freak out.  When my friends want to bother me or annoy me, they go straight to touching my neck, and I spazz.  I have no idea why I am like this, but these parts of the book just further emphasized my fear.  Of course this fear is not diagnosed, but I think it is real.  And any of my friends can back me up and say that I truly do become very upset, scared, and distressed when things or people touch my neck. I wish, but highly doubt that I will grow out of this, but hopefully, the fear will become less severe as I grow older.

Prison? Blackjack? McMurphy.

Last night, I went to a Math Monkey employee holiday party.  I had one of those moments where my life and the book from English class converged.  This year, at the party, the boss decided to hire entertainment, a magician! The magician was pretty entertaining, mostly because there was a lady in the crowd that was excited, crazy, and possibly under the influence of quite a bit of alcohol.  After each magic trick she would be so amazed and scream very loudly. Every single time.  For awhile, we thought she was part of the magician's act to make him seem that much better.  But besides this crazy lady, the magician did one trick that made me excited and immediately made me think of McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.  The magician began talking about card tricks and decided to let us in on a secret.  He said that this trick was the first trick you learn in prison (I'm a little skeptical about how he knows that) and it helps you win blackjack as the dealer.  If the dealer has a card that he/she wishes to keep, he/she can hold the deck in a certain way and deal out the second highest card in the deck and keep the top card for himself/herself.  This made me think that not only did McMurphy learn this trick in prison before he arrived at the hospital, but he also uses the trick to beat the other patients and win their money!  Thus, he is cheating in blackjack and unfairly taking the other patients' money.  As I sat in between Mary Beth and Thomas and told them of my connection, however and quite unfortunately they did not seem quite as excited as I did.  But, I am over it now.  At least now I know how McMurphy wins blackjack so often.

Men Better than Women? FALSE.

Recently, Alex Kreger pretty much blogged about how men are better than women.  As we all know, this is clearly a fallacy.  I know his blog made all the girls angry (which is the majority of the AP English 12 students), so I decided that since he's my boyfriend, I will take on the job of proving him wrong. 

• A recent study revealed that women are getting better looking through evolution while men are staying the same.  Thus, women are adapting better to their environment and improving for the better.
• Contrary to the myth that men are better drivers, in a recent study, this was proven false.  In a study at Carnegie Mellon University, they discovered that men are 77% more likely to die in a car accident than women. Women are most likely not necessarily better drivers, but they are safer drivers- they think more clearly and aren't as aggressive as men on the road.
• Women cope with stress better.  Women seek contact: 53% of women talk to their friends about what's bothering them and stressing them out as opposed to 29% of men.  Instead of talking, men usually use the "fight or flight" approach.
• According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 80% of those who have lost their jobs since December 2007 have been men. Ooooh...look who's taking over the work force now.
• The Department of Education's statistics reveal that men are less likely than women to graduate and get their bachelor's degrees.  Men are also more likely to take longer than five years to complete their degree. 
• Women have stronger immune systems.  This stronger immune system can be attributed to estrogen.  Estrogen confronts an enzyme in the body that often hinders the body's first line of defense against bacteria and viruses.  
• Of those who are 100 years or older, 85% are women.  Additionally, statistically, women live five to 10 years longer than men.
• Women are generally better bosses or managers.  Management expert Jay Forte says "It's a very service-oriented economy [right now], so you need employees to be motivated. Women are better connectors than men and more astute about knowing how to activate passion in their employees."
• Women invest their money more wisely.  A study of 100,000 portfolios showed that a woman's investment return outperforms a man's- 18 to 11 percent.  This is most likely because women are more cautious with their decisions and think more long term.
• Women cooperate better. In a recent study, where men and women both played games, women cooperated with others almost twice as much as men did.
• Women eat more healthy than men.  Throughout multiple studies, men are more likely to reach for pizza and meat, while women are prone to reach for fruits and vegetables.
• Women perform better than men in timed tests.  In a study by Vanderbilt University, researchers found that women score higher in timed intelligence tests than men.  The study also found that there was almost no difference in un-timed tests, which means women have quicker minds.  
• Women perceive relationships better.  After surveying 97 couples, the women were more perceptive than the men in describing their relationships and more accurate in describing the perception of their male partners.
• Women are better communicators.  A neuro-pyschiatrist at the University of California found that women can process 20,000 words a day versus men's 7,000 words.
• Women are better "encouragers" than men.  Women aren't concerned with competing with others as much as men.  They can applaud accomplishments of other people... we do not have big egos.
• A woman is better than a man at nurturing her family.  A women is physically and emotionally connected to her child for nine months before the child is even born.  This connection creates a bond between mother and child, that the father has no way of having. 
• Women maintain a better balance in life.  Women contain a higher level of serotonin which soothes emotions.
• In a recent MyBusters, they tested who could handle pain better - men or women.  Women won, obviously (men are babies).  Men and women both had to hold their hand in a bowl of one degree ice water longer, women stayed in the freezing cold water longer.

As you can see, men are not superior to women, and thus, Alex Kreger, you are wrong.  The fact that women are in charge in the book is not a rarity, we're always in charge- you just don't know it.  We make you think you're in power (because you have big egos), but in reality, we always have control over you.

Waking up on the Wrong Side of Bed: Literally and Figuratively

Last night right before going to sleep, as I was turning off my bedside lamp and I knocked over a water bottle and it spilled all over my bed. Since I didn't think sleeping in a damp bed would be enjoyable, I slid over and slept on the other side of my bed because I have a queen sized bed.  I never sleep on this side of the bed and then this morning, I literally and figuratively woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  I woke up to my alarm which signaled we had school today, and not another snow day, and it just put me in a bad mood.  I was so convinced that the administration would call another snow day, but I was incorrect.  Since I am in a bad mood, I've decided I'm not going to hide it and instead I will blog about it.  First of all, I hate this book.  After reading the first five pages, I was thought, ehh I'm not feeling this book. Then after the first chapter of reading and ever since I've decided that I hate the book.  Granted we are only one third of the way through the book, but there is nothing in this book that I particularly like.  Whenever I say I hate the book (which I've said on multiple occasions) Kelly keeps responding, "It's only the beginning. Give it a chance." She has a point, but I think I'll pass and continue hating the book.  Another reason besides the content that this book is making me angry is the format. The book is fat and small. It is impossible to read the book without using two hands.  And you have to practically lean on the book to free a hand to write in comments.  Which brings me to my next point that there are no margins.  Annotating and writing comments in the book is a bit difficult seeing as there is half a centimeter of space to write in. Also, the font is small.  For those of us that are visually challenged, with this book, I have to put the book two inches away from my face to read it, which probably makes me look very odd.  Also, the book is in block format. So if a word does not fit onto the line, a dash is used.  So the line "he compliments the Negro cook on sun-nysiding the best eggs he ever age,"  takes me about a good extra 30 seconds to realize what the word is. Not kidding. I spend a good amount of time and effort sounding out the word- in my head and most likely out loud too until I figure out the word.  So maybe I have bad taste in books, I do not know how to hold books and write at the same time, I have large and messy hand-writing that does not fit in margins of books, I have bad eye-sight, and I cannot read, but instead of blaming myself, I'm choosing to put all the blame on this book.  I hope you enjoyed the angry side of me.

P.S. I miss Gogol and The Namesake. 

Environmental Impacts

Today in church, my mind wandered off a bit and I began thinking of my English blog and how I really did not know what to write.  But, luckily as the priest, Father Mark, began his sermon, the central idea of the sermon related to our book, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.  Father Mark began with a story- a bit long but bear with me.  A mother chicken laid her 2 eggs but had to leave them to find food. When she left, a mother eagle dropped her egg into the chicken nest.  When the mother chicken came back, she sat on the eggs until they hatched. When they hatched there were three babies (two chickens and one eagle), but the mother assumed they were all chicks.  So, as they grew, obviously the one looked a bit different, but growing up in a chicken environment, the eagle began to act like a chicken.  Then one day, an eagle flew over the chickens.  And the baby eagle asked an older chick what it was. The chick responded that it was an eagle.  The small eagle saw the resemblance with the eagle in their feathers and wings and said "I have wings and feathers, I should try flying."  The chick responded, "No way. You are a chicken and chickens cannot fly."  So the baby eagle did not ever try to fly.  Father Mark used this story in order to teach the community that if one grows up in an environment in which he/she does not believe he/she can do something, he won't be able to.  Thus, if they grow up in an environment that is positive, loving, encouraging, they will grow up to be a better person and the opposite in a negative environment.  So, in our book, in the mental institution, where the care is poor and the nurses and doctors treat the patients badly, and they live in a negative and harmful environment, they have no chance for change and improvement.  When the workers tell the patients no constantly and treat them as lost causes, the patients will begin believing this themselves and not improve, but actually regress.  Obviously some of the patients are very insane, but others may become worse because of the environment they live in.