Today is my first day in AP English 12. Last year I may have been the dumb one in class, but this year will be different. Today is the day that I will do well in English. I will talk. I will say intelligent comments. I will not mess up. Today, “anything, anything, anything is possible” (302). My goal is to impress Ms. Serensky today. Maybe she’ll give me above a 2 on my essays this year. To get a 3… I would just die of happiness. As I sit in your seat, the voice inside me says, “ you feel everything” (302). And it is right. I do. I feel nervous, and on edge. This day could turn out wonderfully… or terribly. So, the discussion begins. And I jump in, giving my comment in what I believe is an intelligent manner. But when I stop talking, I realize everyone is looking at me. And judging me. Hardcore. Then, Henry says, “I disagree” and I know I’ve got no hope in my argument now. Apparently I said something very foolish. I begin “to tremble and grow warm” (302). I have ruined the potential to remake myself as a smart student in this class. I actually “feel pity for these people” (302). What am I supposed to do though? Take the zero? Maybe. This day was supposed to be great. And now, it is turning very quickly. But, “when I was sick, I had this dream,” I was an AP English 12 champion (286)! And the most popular kid in the class- not Chris Lange. I try to talk and “there are so many things I know, but can’t say” (208). I simply cannot find the words to express my feelings. But now I’m angry. I think to myself, “what the f**** does it matter” (145). And then, the whole class starts laughing at me. WORST. DAY. EVER.
Jillian, I think we can all sympathize with Junior's experience in our English class. There have definitely been times when I have wanted nothing more than to hide in the closet until the collective glares of the class die down. A particular incident I don't think I can ever live down was when I froze up in the middle of the debate in front of everyone :'(. At least no one laughed at me... to my face...
ReplyDeletePS since you're almost at 1000 page views I'm going to stop visiting your blog. Yeah.
I think that you did a great job in portraying just how Junior would fit into our English class and his thoughts throughout the entire process. Nice job with tying in some quotes and I like the style that you wrote the passage in. The picture is a little concerning...but it also adds a nice touch.
ReplyDeleteJillian I'll be honest, I feel pretty bad. I didn't mean to make you feel like you need to take the zero. Sometimes the things I say are unnecessary and often for comedic effect (note key word there: sometimes). It's too bad we weren't writing partners, we would have been a forced to be reckoned with. Maybe then you could voice some feelings, or maybe actually that would even be worse if we were....I cannot really decide. Most importantly, defend yourself, if you're confident it wont matter. I mean really, half the things I say don't even make sense.
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